What Does It Mean to Forgive?

In the series foundation, Forgiveness Takes Away Sin’s Power to Condemn, we saw grace release the sinner from condemnation. Now we turn to the contrast: unforgiveness holds an offense under debt and continually brings it back into remembrance. To understand unforgiveness clearly, we must first understand what it refuses to do—release.

“But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Matthew 6:15 · NKJV

Unforgiveness is disobedience and death to your soul

Jesus did not present forgiveness as an optional practice for people whose wounds are small. He commanded it. Therefore, unforgiveness is not merely a difficult emotion, an unfortunate attitude, or a private coping mechanism. When we knowingly refuse to forgive, we are resisting the command of the Lord.

We should feel the weight of Matthew 6:15. Jesus connects our refusal to forgive with our own experience of forgiveness. He does not allow us to receive mercy as though it belongs to us while denying mercy to someone else. The issue is not only what the offender did. The issue is what our response to that offense is producing in us.

Unforgiveness keeps sin active. It gives bitterness room to take root, allows anger to become an occasion for the devil, and tempts us to assume the place of judge. Scripture warns us not to let a root of bitterness spring up and defile many (Hebrews 12:15), and not to give place to the devil through unresolved anger (Ephesians 4:26–27).

Remembered and uncovered

“Because you have made your iniquity to be remembered, in that your transgressions are uncovered … because you have come to remembrance, you shall be taken in hand.”

Ezekiel 21:24 · NKJV

Notice the connection between remembering and uncovering. Israel’s repeated rebellion caused its sins to be brought forward and exposed for judgment.

Something that is covered has not necessarily ceased to exist. It is simply no longer exposed or continually brought into view.

Forgiveness means release

The primary Greek word translated forgive in the New Testament is aphiēmi (ἀφίημι). It means to send away, release, let go, leave behind, or cancel a debt. The central idea is release.

In Matthew 6:12, Jesus teaches us to pray, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” An offense creates a debt in our hearts. We may feel that the person owes us an apology, justice, restitution, respect, or an acknowledgment of what happened.

Forgiveness does not deny that the debt existed. It releases our personal claim to keep collecting it. Biblical forgiveness is choosing to release that offense into God’s hands instead of continuing to carry it ourselves.

Imagine something buried in the earth

Think of a seed planted beneath the soil. We cannot see the seed, but we know it is there because something eventually grows from it. Or imagine a piece of gold buried deep in the earth. The gold is real even while layers of dirt and rock cover it. It remains hidden from view until someone decides to dig for it.

Now imagine a person going to that place with a shovel. With every shovelful of dirt removed, the buried gold becomes more exposed. The person keeps digging until what was once covered has been completely uncovered and brought into view.

An offense can work much the same way. What happened remains part of our history, just as the gold remains beneath the ground. Yet we do not have to keep excavating it and bringing it out of the past into the present.

Every time we rehearse the offense, retell the story, relive the pain, or replay the event in our minds, it is as though we return to the same place and begin digging again. Each thought removes another shovelful of dirt. Each bitter retelling exposes the offense once more. Continually bringing it into remembrance keeps it uncovered and active in our thoughts, emotions, and responses.

The offense itself has not changed. Our repeated excavation is what keeps bringing it back into view.

Love covers

“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins.”

Proverbs 10:12 · NKJV

Hatred stirs an offense back up. Love covers it. Covering is not denial, dishonesty, or pretending evil is acceptable. It does not prevent us from seeking safety, establishing wise boundaries, speaking truth, or allowing proper authorities to address wrongdoing.

Covering means that we refuse to keep exposing an offense for the purpose of nursing resentment, condemning the person, or taking revenge. Love refuses to become the shovel that keeps digging up what forgiveness has already released.

Memory and remembrance

Forgiveness does not always erase a memory from the mind. There is a difference between possessing a memory and continually bringing an offense to remembrance. When God says, “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more” (Hebrews 10:17), He declares that He will not continue to bring our sins against us in judgment.

An offense may remain somewhere in our memory without continually rising into our thoughts or governing our response. As forgiveness and healing do their work, what once dominated our inner life can lose its power to provoke bitterness, anger, or retaliation.

Put down the shovel

Forgiveness is the decision to stop uncovering what love has chosen to cover. It does not say the offense was imaginary, call evil good, instantly restore trust, or erase consequences. It releases our claim to keep rehearsing the debt, collecting it through resentment, or using it as a weapon.

Unforgiveness continually uncovers an offense by bringing it back into remembrance. Forgiveness releases the offense so that love can cover it. By God’s grace, we can put down the shovel and place the debt into His hands.

The shovel must be put down. We cannot repeatedly uncover another person’s sin, feed hatred in our own heart, and call that faithfulness to God. Love is not optional, forgiveness is not optional, and obedience is not optional. Jesus is Lord even over the offenses that wounded us most deeply.